Dress Codes of Friendship
When Aesthetics Become a Shared Language
Is there an unspoken dress code for friendships today? What used to be spontaneous “twinning moments”—two friends in the same top, coincidentally wearing the same shoes—has now become a structured, almost ritualized part of social dynamics. Before an event, group chats fill with screenshots, outfit ideas, or even little mood boards. Shared aesthetics are no longer a mere side effect, but a consciously created visual coherence.
From Subculture to Social Feed
Of course, the principle itself isn’t new: in subcultures like punk, hip-hop, or goth, clothing has always been a visible expression of shared values and attitudes, emerging from within. Today, however, the logic often seems reversed. It’s not the mindset shaping the look—but the look that becomes the central vehicle of cohesion. Visual matching becomes shorthand: “We belong together.”
And it’s not about fixed uniforms anymore. While subcultures cultivated their codes over years, matching in the digital age is fluid and function-based. The outfit carefully coordinated for tonight’s rooftop party might follow a completely different aesthetic tomorrow. The dress code of friendship is therefore a constant negotiation—an “aesthetic labor”carried out by friend groups and amplified by platforms like Instagram or TikTok.
Work or Play?
Critics might say: this is exhausting. Isn’t there already enough pressure on individuals to always appear on-brand and photogenic—must the friend group also perform in aesthetic harmony? Yet there’s another perspective: for many, this collective styling is a playful form of creativity, a kind of visual collaboration that expresses closeness and humor. It’s a shared language—subtle, visual, slightly ironic, yet deeply connective.
When Differences Matter
At the same time, a countertrend is growing: groups that highlight and celebrate their differences. Deliberate non-matching becomes a statement—proof that true connection isn’t tied to visual sameness. “We don’t look alike, and that’s exactly why you can see we really like each other.” But as a sweeping claim, this only goes so far. Because here too, it can just be another aesthetic game, a consciously staged contrast for the camera.
The Future of the “Bestie Look”
Whether through close coordination or visual friction, friendships today are increasingly expressed through questions of style. In a world where images have become primary means of communication, relationships themselves become a stage on which identity and closeness are performed. Matching doesn’t have to be superficial. It can also signal something deeper: the need to make togetherness visible in a time when so much feels virtual and fragmented.
In the end, maybe it’s less about whether you match or not, and more about retelling friendship through fashion—one piece of clothing, one color scheme, one inside joke at a time. The only question is: who’s making the mood board?